Stuff for the Stressed Assignmented People

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigrarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
IF you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

Drug-possesion defendant Christopher Johns,
on a trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan,
said he had been searched without a warrant.
The prosecutor said that officer didn't need a warrant
because a "buldge" is Christopher's jacket could have been a gun.
Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket
that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it.
The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and
laughed so hard that he required a five-minutes recess to compose himself.

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