You didn't know...

whoa...finally after one year of being in the same class..all the locked up, deep, dark, twisted secrets are out...nyeknyeknyek..

Things you didn't know about Jimbo:
1. He has a colossal crush on Alex Ferguson i.e. Fergie. (That explains the die-hard support for ManU, ooo, and the Scottish accent)
2. He keeps fetish photos of Fergie in his fat yellow file that he carries around EVERYWHERE. He cuts heads of Fergie and photoshops them onto semi-naked bronzed bodies of the Renoma models (provided by his buddy William, more of which will come later). That's why he wanted to retake his CG II, to touch up on his cutting and pasting skills..;)
3. The reason he missed one whole week of college was because he crashed an MU match at Old Trafford, running au natural on the pitch and throwing kisses in Fergie's direction. Just before the 6 burly security guards tackled him, camera footage caught him silently mouthing "This is for you, Fergie!"
4. He has his chest hair plucked out to form " I (*heart shape*) Fergie". What a man.

Things you didn't know about Willy Wee:
1. He has a fetish for Renoma underwear. In the middle of the night he poses in front of the mirror (with the help of a chair of course) with nothing but his Renomas. Source: undisclosed eyewitness, who also wants to rule the world.
2. His old ads are recycled for Fergie's spanking new bodies.

Things you didn't know about Cal:
1. He likes things homemade. Apparently the black leather jacket he wears was made from black water buffalo hide which he slaughtered and skinned himself. The remnants he made into his gloves, of course.

Things you didn't know about Ethan:
1. He grows out his hair so he can hide certain candy-flavoured toys under them.
2. He is Clark Kent in reality.
3. The auntie in Ming Tien is Lois Lane in reality.
4. They went off together for a *ahem* mission that he wouldn't tell us about. Just like a superhero, don't you think? Always off to save the world but keeping mum about it, and thinking we don't recognise them because they wear a pair of glasses...

Things you didn't know about Ben Chew a.k.a. Benruto a.k.a. Juan Juan:
1. He won the most recent Best Male Cosplay title dressed as Riku. After he gave his speech, he demanded for Choki-Choki, which Kenneth immediately came up with on and they shared it lovingly (more about that later). the only recognisable about him at that time though, was his very , um, unique eyes..;P
2. The reason he can't stop being anxious and is always bouncing around is because his tongkat ali input is too much.

Things you didn't know about Dora:
1. The reason she has so much time is because she gets around so fast. The reason she gets around so fast is because she has the mini propellors. The reason she has the mini propellors is because she's actually Dora-E-MON.

Things you didn't know about Ye Von:
1. She's a pirated VCD seller.
2. She's that kind of pirated VCD seller- available in all languages, Japanese, Chinese, Malay, Indian, Indonesian, you name it, she's got it.
3. Her eyes used to be very big. Then in primary school her mum tied two pigtails for her everyday, and she tied them so tight they began to pull her eyes to the sides. Then one day she fell into cement and, well, her face froze in that manner.
So she's got small eyes ever since..teeheehee.

Things you didn't know about Ben Cheong:
1. His favourite "movie star" is called Fatimah.
2. All the time he pretended to sleep on that journey to the estate behind his shades, he was actually oogling at the Indonesian estate girls.

Things you didn't know about Kenneth:
1. He got scolded by his girlfriend. Why? Because he was late. Why? Because he was in Ming Tien sharing a siew pau with Juan Juan, holding hands and everything.
2. Someone thinks his big 'elephant' ears are adorable.

Things you didn't know about Kexin:
1. She's actually bald. That's why she gets a new hairstyle every term. They're actually wigs, everyone.
2. Her motto in life is that you must tell the person you love that you love him/her. So don't be surprised if you find her in Vincci talking lovingly to expensive, inaffordable shoes.
3. The reason she can't afford to buy those shoes is because she spents all of her money buying new HAIR.
4. She's a spokesperson for an online slimming centre. Only thing is, she wasn't so skinny last time. Superman said in the photo, she had the body of an elephant. Hmm, one has the body of an elephant, the other has the ears....

Things you didn't know about Vincent Sam Goh:
1. He always wears two layers of shirts so just in case William teks it in his head to pull his pants down, his shirts hide his you-know-what. According to Will, VSG doesn't wear underwear. William should know best. After all, he's the Renoma expert.
2. In primary school, he used to steal the pencil boxes of the girl he likes just so she's chase him all around and beat him up. In the end, he earned himself the nickname "Cowboy". Why? 'Cos the girl that chases him was nicknamed "Horsey."

Things you didn't know about Gerry:
1. She's got a cute chipmunk smile when she wants to borrow something. Benruto should know. She reserves the smile especially for him ;).

Things you didn't know about Chin Hou:
1. He speaks so softly because he lost his voice yodelling in Switzerland. Thats why Winter Olympics was cancelled. Avalanches, you know.

Things you didn't know about Jia Ling:
1. She was a candidate to act in 'Catwoman'. That's why she goes around meowing and clawing. She's practicing for the role.

Things you didn't know about Li Sian:
1. She's actually an Ah Gua. 0.o/ Her sexy, manly "Yeah, Baby"s made VSG seriously consider switching majors to Illustration.

Things you didn't know about Shen Yin:
1. At a strip tease night club, she was the person screaming the loudest and stuffing the most money into the tiny hot shorts of the male dancer. The next day she was heard telling Dora "Aiyoh, I'm broke this month-la.."

Things you didn't know about Julie:
1. She's a babe.. ;)
2. ...She's the girl nicknamed "Horsey".

Haha..of all Comm Skills classes, this definitely ranked the best. Well now, half the zoo's inhabitants' secrets are finally out. E1, spill the beans!!!

P.S. Feel free to add anything i forgot to mentioned
P.S.S. No hard feelings, anyone..:):):):)


Anonymous said...

Things you didn't know about Julie:

1. She's actually an highly artistically developed alien from outer space who doesn't age. That's why she is so good with her drawings, she had tons of years of practice, and she may be the cause that Dodo birds went extinct. Her associate is cosmologist, Stephen Hawking whom she contacts to get vital info on us human beings.

Kye said...

Hilarious! I'm sure there's more to come once we're at PD... I'll have to brace myself then.

Didn't know there was a post(super)script.

ChrisYuen said...
who wrote this??
i'm sure it's not juan juan/benruto/ken lover/choki fan/em song-er/rubber ben/chew chok kee..

Samz said...

Things you didn't know about Jimbo:

oso known as Antonio James

Julie said...

Yet another thing you didn't know about Jimbo:
1. All this good college artsy fartsy student thing is just a face. He's actually an Italian striptease dancer named Antonio.
That kinda explains the ultra excessive hair growth on his chest.. ;). His most frequent customer's name starts with a G, ends with a Y, and has AR in the middle. Geniuses of Shidio, go figure.